How To Read People- Course In Mastery Day 13

We all would love to know what other people  are thinking and tom wood gives us three ways to pick up some very handy clues.

The Eyes: Are they looking up? Their thinking visually, talk to them with visual words ( I see what you mean). Sideways? Their thinking in sounds (audibly). Looking down? Their thinking emotionally - use emotional and tactile expressions.

The Hips: Hips show confidence. It is how our hips are positioned that roll our shoulders back or down - and people may fake confidence by holding their shoulders back.

The Skin: Indicates boundaries. If our emotional boundaries are crossed we tend to itch or scratch ours skin. A good leader sees that backs off and builds rapport before.   

Tony Alessandra develops the Platinum Rule, "Treat others as they want to be treated".

"Listen to what people say and how they say iot and they will show you how to treat them."

People may not tell you how to treat them but they will show you by what they say and how they say it in 3 ways:

Verbally: The words they use.

Vocally: Speed, pitch, resonance,  inflection etc).

Visual: Body language.

Ask yourself is the person more open or closed (self contained), versus direct or indirect. Those two dimensions give us four general personality types described by various authors right basck to the ancient Greeks! (eg choleric, sanguin, phlegmatic, malencholic).

Self Contained People: Guard their emotions, are hard to read, have a steady voice, show little emotion. They base decisions on facts and logic. They are taslk oriented and dont like chit-chat.

Open People: Open people let their feelings hang out, they are relationship oriented, digress from the point, are not time conscious and decide emotionaly.

Indirect People:  Indirect people are slow paced, cautious, patient, desire to be right and fear being wrong, ask for permission, are quality conscious.

Direct People:  to the point, desire to accomplish, quantity over quality, near enough is good enough, they see gray areas as a window of opportunity and go for it, rather than check if its OK. They follow the spirit, rather than the letter of the law, according to their interpretation.